~Valentine, be mine~ A REAL story of Valentine's Day

Every year it's the same thing...big plush hearts, bright pinks and vibrant reds, cupids and chocolate plastered from wall-to-wall. Yes, Valentine's day is something all people can instantaneously explain. The consumerism, expectations and disappointments are all things that people fear when February 14th is on the horizon. Usually, I'd be right there with everyone else boycotting this charade of a Holiday, but yesterday I was reminded what the Holiday really means.

Unlike the average 21 year old, I've only ever had a Valentine twice; this being the exact same person both years. This was not because I didn't date, but rather, I didn't date around February. Normally break-ups or relationship starts would interfere with the "splendor" that is Valentine's Day. Because of this, I had the assumption made that Valentine's was a cursed Holiday....one that should never be celebrated--EVER. It was this idea that stuck with me when last year Charles, my now Fiance, had to work and when we were to celebrate, he came home too tired to do so.

This year, I had the notion gummed-into my noggin. Valentine's was gonna suck. I had bought Charles a PC game and an extravagant card with my heart spilled in ink sur le papier. We ran into financial troubles closer to the "big day" and Charles couldn't do anything special...I knew it. I was adamant about being a miserable old-bat about it too. He felt so badly about not being able to give me the extravagant gift he wished he could, but I didn't help him any...I was a sore sport. It was not about the material gifts that I was so hung-up on it, but the fact that I had never experienced Valentine's Day like all of the other post-happy girlfriends on this holiday-from-hell. The more I looked at the posts, the more I loathed Valentine's and our financial situation.

I had complained to my mother about being the loser of Valentine's Day, and having actually put effort in this year to participate, despite my perception of the day. She told me of a story her and my father and how my father had been so busy one week he nearly forgot about the day altogether. He came home from work with a variety store bag and a Valentine's card in it, unsigned. She never let him live it down after the almost 20 years after it happened. BUT, she knew that he provided for her, and that at least he made an effort, though a failed one at that. She told me not to worry, that when you know he treats you right and he's the love of your life, you just have to give him a break from striving for perfect.

This is when I had given-in to forgetting about Valentine's Day and spoke about wedding plans with my mother and my cousin. I had all but forgotten about the day, until I got a call. It was Charles asking if I was alright (knowing I had a bad day) and if he was able to stay and do something special for me after work, or if I needed him home immediately. I was floored...what do you say? "YES,YES,YES I want something"? Or "No, it's alright dear...just come home"? I felt a lump in my throat when I uttered "Well, what would you like to do?" He told me that he would like to do something special for me, but if I needed him at home, he would rush home right away. I told him to do what he thinks he wants. I waited patiently for him to come home;agonized at the selfishness I had displayed.

I continued chatting with my cousin and mother about wedding details, when suddenly I heard the key in the door. I froze. Embarrassed of my behavior but also curious as to what would unfold, I didn't want to seem like I waited on him, and went back to chatting online. He popped in and didn't speak a word. I thought he was mad at me for being so thoughtless--we didn't have money for frivolousness. He walked slowly up to the chair in which I sat, bent over and kissed me on the cheek, gave me a warm hug and slipped a red envelope into my lap. I rush-opened it to see what was in store.... "did he even sign it?" I thought. This. This is the moment that reminded me of the true purpose of a love-themed day.

"Simply put, you are my World. I have never been as happy as I am with you. I know that we have very rough moments & that most of them are my fault :P but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Never in my life have I loved someone the way I love you. Nor have I ever felt so loved &lucky as you make me feel. I'm so fortunate to have found you & to still have you. I can't wait to be your husband! I'm so excited to start my life with you & try really, super hard to be the best man I can be for you. Love, Charles".

 Bawling, I closed the card. It hit home for so many reasons. I am the luckiest girl, simply put. I don't have a sugar daddy, or a professional something. I don't have a house or a car. We have more bills than money. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. Next Valentine's Day, please don't place high importance on the what and the when...but who you spend it with.

( Charles with our niece, Mackenzie)

DAD~Happy Birthday~~

My dad is one of those people who will always be there for you--no matter what. There are times albeit I'm downright nasty to that man because I'm angry and he didn't take my side. But not a day goes by that I don't think I'm lucky to have him.

Since I was young, my dad has been one that's been around. I never heard of dads going elsewhere or working too much when I was young because I was spoiled. My dad works a tremendous amount BUT, he ALWAYS had time for us.

My dad is the jokiest type. If you haven't a bad joke impressed upon your email accounts, then you'll hear it from him for sure! That's not to say all of his jokes are "bad", moreover, ALL of them are not for little ears! LOL He is the light of the party, or he's at least the most outgoing. He is friendly to everyone and will put himself aside to be there for anyone.

There's something that I admire to no end about my dad--he speaks his mind. You may not like what he's going to say, but he'll always, ALWAYS be honest about his intent and mindset on any matter. This is most admirable because SO many people can't tell the truth or they walk on eggshells around people. My dad doesn't do that. Though he does this, he definitely will never purposely hurt someone. He has a very gentle heart!

He was the one who taught me that every single person--as unique as they may come--is to be given respect. Afterall, we are all human! He is the type that will take a homeless man into a restaurant and pay for his meal; even sit down with him and converse about what he can. He taught me that though people have their ups and downs, everyone is made in God's image. He has never been pushy about his faith, but he is a man that has much of it. He has always put my mother and us first, but has never left God's path. From working with children, to being the chair of the leadership board at our church (not to mention laying bricks both figuratively and literally for the foundation of this place) he has never left a task unfinished. He has been an active member in his church and community for over 21 years--that is my entire lifetime.

For 21 years, he has put up with my ever-changing attitudes and I can honestly say, that is LOVE. He is the father of four children biologically, but do not mistake, he has been a positive mentor for more kids than just us. He has been an active member in our church and community since I can remember, and though often without thanks, wouldn't change it in the slightest. He loves to help out when he can. In fact, I do recall one night when he drove my ass home after a teeny disagreement with my mom (though it was late and he was so tired) because I felt it was best. Now, most dads would probably say no, but mine did that for ME. He, on countless occasions, has driven great lengths for me. Not just car rides either.

So tomorrow, as he gets up for work and does the tasks that he does every day for his family, I want him to know how much he means to us...to me. It's his birthday tomorrow, and though it's only another day in the calendar year, it's a day that gave this world, my mom, my brothers and myself the VERY BEST leader/neighbor/friend/husband/father/and man we could ask for. I love you, Dad! Have a wonderful birthday! You're 47!